I Don’t Want To Be A Strong Female Lead — that’s the title of actress, writer and producer Brit Marling’s NYT opinion essay, which Kate and I broke down on our podcast. We dig deep into what it means to be masculine or feminine, and how those traits are often linked to, but not the same as, male and female.
In her career, Brit Marling has seen many Hollywood executives call for a “strong female lead” when it’s just code for “give me a man but in the body of a woman I still want to see naked.” And we’re with Brit — we are done with that prototype of the strong female lead.
But we don’t think you have to blow up the whole hero’s journey model or throw it away completely. We still love a more traditional hero’s journey — with some meaningful feminine weight. After all, Fleabag and Claire break out of their empty and cold hearts (respectively) by connecting with one person, not coming into community.
So I thought about the ways that the complicated women of our first dozen episodes were strong female leads that combined masculine and feminine traits in a way that made them so compelling and original.
- Fleabag makes so many mistakes, often conflating sex and love, but she always learns from her choices. Sometimes, more mistakes come from over-correction but she never gives up on herself. She deserves love too.
- Erica Barry becomes unglued in love, but she’s ready for it and happy to embrace it. She loves and wants Harry, but she doesn’t need him. In fact, she finds meaningful success in the play she writes during her heartbreak. All the more reason to dive right in!
- Daisy Jones doesn’t value anything that comes easily in her life. She wants people to listen to her.
- Marianne needs to feel so deeply. She knows that a man who sees you is not someone to let go of, even if she doesn’t always know how to communicate that.
- Lainey Dalton changes on her own terms, with the loving support of a man, but not according to his wishes, timeline or demands.
- Sally Albright holds out for a man who not only accepts her bossy, Type-A “faults”, but embraces them, making them some of the qualities he loves most about her.
Our ideal strong female lead moves from the masculine fruits of ambition — meaning, knowledge, fame, beauty, power, wealth — to the bounty of the feminine — acts of service, friendship, parental love, romantic partnership. She is a “strong” woman who “wins” when she finds vulnerability and dares to open up to the beauty of connecting.
While there is no one word to encapsulate all of these strong female leads, we know for sure they are so much more than men in a woman’s body. More of THESE strong female leads, please.